Pinball: A Universal Experience?

Recently, I spent several hours playing on a variety of pinball machines. I watched people in this bar-cade anguish over loses, walk up to the pinball machines without any hesitation, and lose themselves for 5 minutes. And, no more than 2 games in, I realized three things:

1. These machines were designed invoke rage
2. No one knows the vague themed objectives.
3. Everyone knows how to play. It’s an innate part of being human.

Let me elaborate…

Number 1: These machines were designed invoke rage.

The way the paddles on a pinball machine are perfectly set for the ball to go straight through the middle. Gutteral shock and abandonment rip through my body as I watch the unthinkable happen to me for the third time in a row. How could this happen to me. What’s did I do to deserve this type of punishment from the cosmos.

Number 2: No one knows the vague themed objectives.

Why do the pinball machines have a theme that co-relates to their objective? Can’t the pinball machines just be cute and silly? Is keeping the ball from falling down the doom hole not enough? I have to wonder if the pinball manufacturers are tired of thinking up ideas. What’s the point of creating these unique themes if it simply doesn’t matter to most consumers. Who are they doing this for?

Number 3: Everyone knows how to play.

Pinball is one of those things we find as natural as walking. I believe it was played so heavily in the 70s and 80s (or whenever the fuck it was made) that it became ingrained into our DNA. With the evolution of the human race creating super babies who are smart, I’d argue that children ages 3 and up could potentially play pinball successfully. It’s just one of those things we just understand.

We can all agree that these three things may be some of our final remaining universal experiences. So get your happy ass to a barcade and take that CRISP 20 you were gonna use to pay a little extra on your credit card and have some fun.

Debt is forever, but joy is fleeting. Choose joy <3

Shitty Business Ideas:

Hello Sharts, I was wondering if you would be open to hearing an idea of mine? Okay, maybe it wasn't my idea.

Anyways, so there's this floral shop that only makes arrangements for police officers. There's a huge market for this as police officers have a high rate of domestic violence, killing innocent people, and what not. So obviously they need to send flowers to their victims to apologize and keep them in societies good graces. That's why we are introducing a concept coined by Brenn as Back The Bloom.

So Sharts? What do you think? Will you Back The Bloom this holiday season?

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Gay People Are Listening To:
Apple Featuring The Japanese House

I know that we've covered Apple by Charli XCX, but theydies and gentlethems, we have to circle back thanks to this remix.

Talking to your family and not seeing eye to eye is one thing. But the feeling of being unheard by someone who is supposed to have your best interest at heart is a totally different thing.

The added context from The Japanese House verses about how you can find family in partnership is really powerful. I think it's telling how both versions center themselves in running away from love that is painful and wrong. Whether it's family or friends or partners.