Who The Fuck Is On Reddit?

People on Reddit post the craziest shit you’ve ever seen. There’s information no one should know just plastered on Reddit. Why the fuck is there an answer to every question you’ve never had? A new business will start and within weeks there’s an entire Reddit thread about it. I don’t understand how it works. How do people have time to be on Reddit writing answers like this?

In my mind, Reddit is like if Satan had internet access. It’s basically the devil's AI predictive text playground with every devious intention imaginable. I genuinely cannot comprehend how they have an answer for everything. You could google the most asinine phrase and somehow within the top 5 search results will be a Reddit thread.

I am scared. I once spent an hour and a half on a subreddit reading about the Charlotte YMCA (don't ask). Another time on Reddit I found someone sharing news of a corporation re-zoning my favorite coffee shop. The baristas and management had no idea, so that was sick. There is a crazy amount of information on Reddit but it begs the question... WHO IS FUCKING POSTING IT THERE DUDE?!?

Is the unemployment rate THAT bad? Reddit is full and the schools are empty. Christ save us.

Anyways, reply and tell me if you’ve ever posted on Reddit or share your favorite Reddit thread.

P.S. Next week is my first episode in a 4 week series. I think I will also start recording little YouTube monologues for these emails and embedding them in the emails if you would like that. Idk.

Shitty Business Ideas:

Hello Sharts, I super glued myself to the floor and I just drank a venti cold brew and polished off a Chipotle bowl. I am prepared and willing to shit myself if you are mean to me.
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Speaking of bowel movements. Who the fuck came up with probiotic sodas. Why do they cost 5 dollars and why do they taste bad? I just want a Dr. Pepper, I don't need it to move through me like MiraLAX.

lesbian mothman 🇵🇸 @verysmallriver hey! we’re the makers of a new “healthy” soda. it tastes bad and is also more expensive ❤️ 9:37 PM • Aug 28, 2024 4329 Retweets 87738 Likes Read 138 replies

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BTW, I love soda and wrote about that last week if you missed it.

Gay People Are Listening To:
Carolina By Austin Bennet

My best friend dropped a single today. It is a beautiful little number about falling in love with the right person at the wrong time in your life. When you've barely moved on from a great love in your life, and realizing that maybe you got played along the way.

There's nothing like that moment of reflection, wether it's about a relationship or a situation-ship, where you realize that you'll never forget the person who broke your heart the most, even if they have no problem forgetting about you.

I could write a lot more about this, but I won't cause then I will get into my feelings.