Imposter Santa Syndrome
Why do old men (and occasionally women) feel the need to casually dress up as Santa and Mrs. Claus? I understand that some people do it for work, and I would never question the work ethic of elderly actors. But to the people who wear Santa suits to go out into public, why? Are you a pervert, or are you just obsessed with being the center of attention? The way you are choosing to dishonor the time-old lore of Santa Claus working at the North Pole to show up in a fucking Walmart is enough of a crime to strip you of your uniform immediately.
Growing up, there was an elderly man who dressed as Santa every Sunday at Christmas time. You don’t really question it much when you are young, but that shit is weird. Does it not feel odd to anyone else that grown adults are dressing up as someone who historically invites kids to sit on his lap? Like maybe I’m just weird, but it’s giving red flag.
Furthermore, it’s not a casual commitment to look like Santa Claus. You have to order a suit, which alone should probably require a background check. Then the grooming of it all. That beard is BEEFY; you have to prep for months for Christmas. Let alone a natural white hair and beard. Like that’s a high-quality lift you need to not pull yellow. Do you think they see the stylist in like early November to bleach and tone? I figure it takes like a solid 3-4 weeks of purple shampoo. If it’s a DIY hair job.
Shitty Business Ideas:
Hello Sharts, I'm pissed the hell off. I will give you a $100 Best Buy gift card if you will take me up on this offer.
We need a regulatory body overseeing who can and cannot sell appliances. If you are unable to complete a timely delivery of an appliance, you should have your license to sell revoked. I have been waiting on a Goddamn washer and dryer for almost a full month, and Best Buy has literally done EVERYTHING but deliver the appliance. They've ghosted me after telling me they were on the way, they've broken the washing machine in delivery, they've rescheduled my delivery, and they've even hung up on me. They must be dealt with.
High Protein Taco Bell Hack
Taco Bell released chicken nuggets, and TikTok is calling them the perfect fast food for macro-conscious adults (that's not me). I will be honest, I expected Taco Bell to drop the ball with these, but they were surprisingly good. Sure, I was stoned, but who isn't when you DoorDash $50 worth of Taco Bell? I will say there's not much to review in terms of nuggets because these were nothing special. However, the sauce was the star of the show. Never in my life did I think I would need nacho cheese for a nugget, but I did. Furthermore, they have a Bell sauce that was insanely good. It was giving barbecue Lay’s chips with an undertone of a Chick-fil-A sauce. I approve. My one note: Mr. Bell, if you are reading this, give us more sauce for our nuggets.
